By misbehaving, they feel they are getting back at those responsible. Students who misbehave as a motive for revenge may enjoy acting cruelly towards others.
Revenge seekers are likely to perform bullying acts, such as pushing, shoving, and excessive teasing. Passive demonstrations of revenge behavior can be withdrawal, uncommunicative, sullen and remote. Active revenge behavior is displayed through direct or indirect physical attack destruction of property , or psychological attack.
Revenge behaviors are difficult behaviors to manage, because it stimulates intense emotions. I never, ever expect or want perfection from my students. I want to give them a little wiggle room and the freedom to be a kid. Knowing and understanding these five reasons for student misbehavior will allow you to become more efficient with your classroom management. This understanding allows you to continue developing that all important relationship with your students.
Related Posts. Classroom Jobs. Student Christmas Gifts. Carole has worked as a family and individual therapist for over 16 years, and is a former online parent coach for Empowering Parents.
She is also the mother of three grown children and grandmother of six. You must log in to leave a comment. Don't have an account? Create one for free! Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.
We value your opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this discussion. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political or religious nature. Unfortunately, it's not possible for us to respond to every question posted on our website. Does your child exhibit angry outbursts , such as tantrums, lashing out, punching walls, and throwing things? Would you like to learn about how to use consequences more effectively? Do you struggle with disrespect or verbal abuse from your child?
Has your child been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder ODD? Or does your child exhibit a consistent and severe pattern of anger, irritability, arguing, defiance, and vindictiveness toward you or other authority figures? We're just about finished! Comments 0 You must log in to leave a comment. Related Content. Like What You're Reading? Email address. We will not share your information with anyone. Terms of Use. When she does, her mother becomes angry, picks Cindy up and places her in a kitchen chair for a time out.
Unfortunately, this exhausted parent has little time to spend with her daughter. She rarely plays with her, or reads to her, or takes time to sit and talk. Parents who accidentally reward their children's misbehavior teach them there is a payoff for disobedience. Prevention and guidance are preferable to punishment for children who misbehave for attention. They have copied what their parents do Children sometimes misbehave by copying the actions of their parents. For example, an aggressive preschooler had a father who used frequent physical punishment.
He would spank his son for everything from leaving a toy in the living room to refusing to move when ordered. Rarely, if ever, did this young boy experience any tenderness and encouragement from his father. When he came to school, he simply copied his father's response to conflict: If you do not like what someone is doing to you then hit him. By setting an example of violence, the father taught his son to hurt others.
Children are likely to become confused and angry if they are punished for copying something their parents have done to them. They need parents to show them what to do. Changing behavior to serve as a better example for children is an important discipline strategy.
They are testing whether their parents will enforce rules Sometimes misbehavior is a test of a parent's commitment to enforcing rules.
Children may disobey to test their parents' reactions and probe the boundaries of their limits. How important is the limit for the parent? Will parents stand behind what they say? Children respect parents who provide reasonable but firm limits, backed by firm and fair responses. When you are busy it can be hard to slow down and pay attention to your child. Many families find that it works best to bring a snack when they pick up their child from child care. When you get home, instead of rushing to check the mail and get dinner ready, sit down with your child read a book, cuddle, and talk about the day.
The rest of the day will go better, with your child much more contented to let you go and do what you need to do. Look for things your child can do for herself. Make a snack, pick an outfit from a set of clothes that you select, pick a family activity—whatever you are comfortable allowing your child to do. Channel their drive for independence in these manageable and appropriate outlets. It takes time for children to understand what you are asking them to do. Be a good teacher and show them what you expect.
Treat each situation like it is a new one. For most children the learning process takes many repetitions. Children under age two need childproofing more than they need rules. Childproofing means doing as much as you can to make it impossible for children do the wrong thing. Put latches on cabinets and drawers, close and lock doors. Childproofing is especially important for safety electrical cords, open windows, etc.
By age three, your child can understand the meaning of rules. Sometimes children misbehave because our rules are unclear, inconsistent, or too much to expect of a child of this age. If your child is having trouble successfully following the rules at home, it may be time to look closely at the rules and see if you can make them simpler and easier to enforce.
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